IDWYR – 101

Chapter 101: A tough half month 

Once they returned to the room, Ling Zhanyi placed Su Ziyang on the bed and didn’t allow him to move around.

“…I want to bathe..” Su Ziyang said softly.

“Feeling unbearable already? You can’t bathe, the doctor doesn’t allow it. However, we can use hot water to wipe your body. Hold on, I will get a tub of hot water from the bathroom and wipe you with a towel.”

“Okay.” Su Ziyang replied with a smile.

Ling Zhanyi kissed his forehead and asked him to stay put before he went to the bathroom.

In the bathroom, Ling Xiaotian had gotten himself a camp chair and was seated beside a huge basin with his sleeves rolled up. Soap bubbles were all around the bathroom as this elderly man hummed a tune while washing the diapers. Evidently, he enjoyed doing this ‘job’ tremendously.

“Dad…” Ling Zhanyi called out and glanced at the dozen diapers inside. He sighed. “Why are there so many of them?” Ling Xiaotian lifted his hand and wiped his sweat with his sleeves. “There are over twenty more drying on the balcony, after all, we have two babies, there wouldn’t be enough if we have any less. Babies also don’t have any willpower, they pee in this second and poo in another. I will see if there are any more suitable old clothes and cut them out for backup when I am done washing these.”

“…I can purchase more online if there isn’t enough.” Ling Zhanyi looked at the diapers inside the basin and frowned. “How long more do you have to wash?”

In between their conversation, Zhan Huashan brought another two diapers in– good, there’s two more now!

“It’s fine, I am willing to wash them.” Ling Xiaotian said with a smile. “Why? Do you feel bad for your dad? Alright then, here’s an opportunity for you, come and wash a few pieces of them.”

“No… I think I will leave it to you!” Ling Zhanyi showed a face of disdain. He certainly didn’t want to touch those pee and poop.

“Babies’ excrements don’t smell, they only consume milk so there’s no strange odor. If you don’t believe it, smell it…” Ling Xiaotian took a diaper from Zhan Huashan and lifted it towards Ling Zhanyi.

Ling Zhanyi tilted his head to the side and dodged. “Alright, I understand that it doesn’t smell. Dad, since you have already started on it, then quickly finish it!”

“This rascal…” Zhan Huashan patted his back. “We should let you experience the hardships of being a parent. When you were young, it was your dad who washed your diapers, now, he is still washing for your sons and hasn’t rested yet. If you aren’t filial when we are old, see how I will sort you out!”

“How could it be? I will definitely be filial. If you don’t believe me… then what about Ziyang?” Ling Zhanyi found a smaller basin and washed it before filling it with hot water.

“Ziyang is a good child, we trust him.” Zhan Huashan turned around to go back to take care of her grandsons when she saw Ling Zhanyi filling up the basin. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, I am preparing this to wash Ziyang. He hasn’t bathed for half a month.”

“He hasn’t recovered, he shouldn’t touch water.” Zhan Huashan suggested.

“It’s fine, it’s hot water. I will just clean him up a little, otherwise, he will get angry and say that he is growing mold.” Ling Zhanyi smiled as he said, “I ‘ve checked with the doctor, he said he will be able to use hot water to clean himself at this point.”

“Don’t wash his hair, it’s better to wait for a whole month before he washes it,” Zhan Huashan reminded him, “otherwise, it’s easy to get headaches. Mom isn’t trying to scare you.”

“I understand, Mom, go!” Ling Zhanyi was done filling up the basin and headed out together with Zhan Huashan not forgetting to entrust Ling Xiaotian, “Dad, work hard!”

Ling Xiaotian shot a glare at him but also smiled and continued to immerse himself in washing the diapers.

Su Ziyang had been waiting in the room a while before Ling Zhanyi came back with the hot water. The door was half-opened so they could vaguely hear the conversation between Father Ling and Mother Ling but not the content.

“What did you talk to dad and mom?”

“Nothing much. Isn’t dad washing the diapers? His speed couldn’t match up with the speed our sons are using the diapers. Haha.” Ling Zhanyi happily said as he pulled a chair over and placed the basin on it. He proceeded to dip the towel inside.

“You are even happy about it! You should be responsible for washing the diapers!” Su Ziyang stared at him. “Ain’t I supposed to serve Lord Wife?” Ling Zhanyi blinked at Su Ziyang and then squeezed water out from the towel.

Su Ziyang felt apprehensive upon seeing his blinking, thinking that Bastard Ling would certainly take advantage of him while helping him clean. 

However, Su Ziyang was wrong this time.

Ling Zhanyi didn’t seize this opportunity to tease him but was extremely serious as he patiently used the towel damped with hot water to wipe himself area by area from his chest to his stomach, his neck to his wrist, and his underarms to his waist. The water was still hot and would be scalding when you dip your hand inside, but when the heat transferred to the towel, it became a suitable temperature that was tolerable for the skin. Moreover, when this temperature that was between hot and warm touched the skin, it felt particularly enjoyable.

Su Ziyang squirted his eyes in comfort and heaved a long sigh of relief. Being waited upon was simply enjoyable.

After Ling Zhanyi wiped his upper body, he covered him with the blanket, removed Su Ziyang’s pants and began wiping his lower body.

“Does this feel comfortable?”

“En, I want you to clean me everyday…” Su Ziyang ordered.

“Every day? That won’t do. Although the doctor has permitted you to wipe yourself with water, you can’t do that every day. The next time will be a week later.” Ling Zhanyi coaxed, “Even if you want to enjoy this every day, you’ll have to wait for another month.”

“I’ve already waited half a month in the hospital, so it will be another two more weeks before I can enjoy this every day instead of a month later. Don’t try to slack.” Su Ziyang counted the days for him.

Ling Zhanyi nodded. “Okay, okay, we will do as you say, I will wipe you every day after half a month later.”

“That’s more like it.”

After wiping him, Ling Zhanyi pulled the blanket down and covered him properly. He then asked, “Are you hungry?, Let me cook some red bean congee for you?”

“…En. Okay!” Su Ziyang nodded and then pitifully added, “I really want to eat stir-fried spare ribs, chicken wings with coke, poached sliced fish and fish fragrance eggplants made by you…”

Ling Zhanyi kissed Su Ziyang’s slightly puckered lips and smiled. “Wife, you can do it, half a month will pass by very fast.”

Sure enough, half a month went back quickly.

After returning home, Su Ziyang wasn’t as moody as he was in the hospital as he could see his two sons. Zhan Huashan and Ling Xiaotain would also frequently visit and talk to him in his and Ling Zhanyi’s room. Ling Zhanyi would occasionally go back to the company, and come back to accompany him after he had settled his work.

Su Ziyang teased Ling Zhanyi if he was scared of him stinking because he hadn’t bathed for a long time but only used a hot towel to wipe himself that few times. After all, he hugged him to sleep every day and kissed him at random, doesn’t he find him smelly?

That was what Ling Zhanyi answered– I love my wife, so I don’t mind it. Even if my wife shit, I will not find it smelly.

This garrulous bastard! He should be punished to wash diapers!

In between this period, Luoyang and Ye Shou had come to visit Su Ziyang and the babies once. As Ye Shuo still retained some of his child-like personality, some of his actions actually made those babies smile, so Zhan Huashan and Ling Xiaotian loved having them at home.

At day twenty-nine after giving birth, Su Ziyang finally could no longer endure and desperately wanted to eat a feast. Ling Zhanyi could only agree and made two simple dishes to satisfy his craving before following him to the bathroom and seeing him bathe. Su Ziyang used a bath sponge to rub his arm and a layer of dirty came out. He vigorously shook his arms. “Ew~ so dirty!”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. It’s not as dirty as I thought it would be.” Ling Zhanyi said at the side.

Su Ziyang threw the towel at him. “Help me wipe my back, I can definitely make one catty worth of dirt come out!’

Ling Zhanyi laughed. “This is too exaggerated!”

“Can I wash my head now?” Su Ziyang asked with blinking eyes.

Ling Zhanyi deliberately held his chin and gave it consideration and hastily nodded when he saw Su Ziyang aiming the showerhead at him. “Yes, yes, you can wash your head. I will blow dry your hair later. As long as you don’t catch a cold.” He took an extra thick towel over and wrapped Ziyang in it, making sure he wouldn’t catch a cold.

While Ling Zhanyi was rubbing his back for him, Su Ziyang took another towel and started rubbing his front. When he reached his stomach, he scowled and elbowed Ling Zhanyi. “Look, my stomach is still so bulging… so ugly…”

“Is that so? Let me touch it…” Ling Zhanyi purposely rubbed his stomach before reaching downward and grabbed Su Ziyang’s little brother. He teased, “Why didn’t it get fatter or bigger?”

“Let go… Don’t play…” Su Ziyang elbowed Ling Zhanyi, “I want to pee… Let go!”

Ling Zhanyi was just playing with him and soon released his grip. Although he had agreed to let him take a bath, it’s better for him to hurry wash and prevent catching a cold.

After peeing, Su Ziyang felt like going for big business, so he pushed Ling Zhanyi out. “I want to shit. Go out and wait for me.”

“Wife, you are still shy? Didn’t I say before? I won’t mind the smell.” Ling Zhanyi refused to go. “Just go ahead and do your business, I will bathe at the side. You won’t feel cold with the steam.”

Su Ziyang’s attempt to chase the person out had failed, so he could only resignedly sit on the toilet bowl and mulled.

He lifted his head and saw Ling Zhanyi staring at him. How was he going to shit?

After shooting eyes daggers at him, Ling Zhanyi hurriedly turned over, indicating that he wouldn’t look anymore.

Su Ziyang didn’t use the toilet for almost a month. Although he was sitting down and wanted to shit, it was painful whether he exerted some strength, so even after a long while, nothing came out.

Ling Zhanyi turned his eyes and saw a grimancing Su Ziyang. He wanted to joke but felt heartache when he was about to speak.

Perhaps it was because he had eaten two solid dishes today, for the past one month, Su Ziyang had been eating liquid food, so his stomach might not be able to adapt at this moment, so it was understandable if he was having indigestion.

He got closer and whispered, “Can’t shit?”

Su Ziyang’s face was already red from the steam, but now it was even redder. “Nonsense, don’t you see how I have been sitting here for so long? I don’t dare to use too much strength… It’s painful…”

“How about shitting when you have a stronger urge? Go wash up and wear your clothes? Don’t catch a cold…” Ling Zhanyi suggested.

“This sucks… how about I take some laxative….”

“No, you can’t eat that casually!” Ling Zhanyi rejected and stretched out his hand. “How about I massage your stomach for you? I have stronger strength, I can massage to stimulate the excrement in your stomach, maybe it will be easier for you…”

“En…” Su Ziyang hesitated and agreed.

So one sat at the toilet bowl while the other squatted at the side. Ling Zhanyi pressed on his left stomach and admittedly, his strength was stronger, Su Ziyang didn’t feel much when he m it himself but he felt better after Ling Zhanyi rubbed for him.

“Are you feeling better? Is there any feeling?” Ling Zhanyi asked as he rubbed.

Su Ziyang nodded, “A little better. Go out, I will massage myself.”

“I will make some honey water for you, perhaps you will feel better.” Ling Zhanyi quickly wrapped himself with a towel and ran out. Not long later, he came back with a cup.

After a moment of torment, Su Ziyang finally got those waste out.

When Su Ziyang was wiping himself, Ling Zhanyi even stretched his neck out to see if there was any blood. With a red face, Su Ziyang pressed the button to flush the toilet bowl and pushed Ling Zhanyi outward. “There isn’t any blood, go and shower!”

“Are you really okay?” Ling Zhanyi encircled Su Ziyang’s waist and reached out to his butt.

“Let me check, this concerns our ‘blissful’ life…”

“Go away!-” Su Ziyang roared and slapped his hand away.

This bastard!

He had just recovered but this Bastard Ling was already revealing his nature– he despised him a thousand times!

Chapter 100 | Chapter 102

Translator’s rambling:

hmm.. ummm.. yes, you can massage your stomach to relieve constipation.. and..ummm… can you really not go to the toilet for nearly a month… ummmmmmmmm….

9 thoughts on “IDWYR – 101

  1. ah, this entire chapter talks about shift… :/
    if you don’t go to the toilet for 1 month, even if you only eat porridge, you probably need to see the doc

  2. I wish we can have more interaction with him and the babies. If I did not know better I would doubt that he even had kids!!

  3. Su Ziyang felt like going for big business, so he pushed Ling Zhanyi out. “I want to shit. Go out and wait for me.”

    Why can’t I stop laughing at this line?
    LZY massaging a constipated SZY (ON THE TOILET!) is the most realistically domestic thing ever. That’s post newlywed stuff.

  4. Yeah, even if you have a liquid diet you’d still have bowel movements.
    Anyway, this couple is just so cute!

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