Chapter 75: To penetrate into a bull’s horn1, an unexpected cold war with him!  

Although Su Ziyang gave Ling Zhanyi face and stopped crying, he longer had his usual bossy and aloof attitude. He did whatever he was doing with a calm face. Whenever Ling Zhanyi brought something over to him, he ate what should be eaten, drank what should be drunk. However, he never gave him any more intimate smile, as if he had recovered his rationality and those coquettish acts arising from being in love had all disappeared.

Ling Zhanyi was keenly aware of Su Ziyang’s change. He felt nervous and was very upset at the same time. If he had known, he wouldn’t have teased him. This was really bad; he was really upset. What if he noted this down in his heart? Ling Zhanyi scratched his ears anxiously, inwardly thinking that he had spent a lot of effort before he was able to fetch this little ancestor home. He also met his parents and they should be talking about marriage when their children were born. He better not lost to two strawberries ah!

Then wouldn’t he die unjustly?

In fact, Su Ziyang knew that he was letting his imagination run wild. In this matter, he was aware that he was a little too small-minded…

But from his point of view, it was not about the two strawberries at all.

Recently, he was treated by Ling Zhanyi like he was his ancestor. He was spoiled by him in all sorts of ways. If he was not happy even by the slightest margin, Ling Zhanyi would absolutely coax him until he was happy. So, Su Ziyang had gradually grown accustomed to the feeling of being protected while he was being held in the hollow of his hands. Sometimes, he would also act coquettish, be a little stubborn, and throw some tantrums but he still knew how to act within his discretion. He understood that this was just a spice of life. The person acting spoiled was happy, the person spoiling him would also be happy.

But what if this balance was broken?

Today, Father Ling and Mother Ling came here and basically had decided on their matters, and Su Ziyang was ready to wait until the babies were born before he marries Ling Zhanyi. However, when he was determined to take this big step, Ling Zhanyi suddenly stopped coaxing him and turned away after making him angry.

Of course, all of these were from Su Ziyang’s point of view. Ling Zhanyi left him to fetch more strawberries for him. But how did Su Ziyang know that there were more strawberries in the refrigerator, let alone knowing that Ling Zhanyi was leaving to fetch more strawberries for him? He thought that Ling Zhanyi had relaxed now that their marriage was settled and didn’t care about him anymore. Let him be angry if he wanted to be angry, let him throw a tantrum if he wanted to, this master wouldn’t serve you anymore… You’re my person anyway, you can’t run away.

The above was Su Ziyang’s psychological conjecture in that short instant.

The scariest thing was to think too deeply, think too wildly. Once this mindset was engraved in Su Ziyang’s heart, it immediately began to fly unconstrained, and his thought went farther and farther away, more and more unreasonable, but it was also the most probable to happen to couples.

You see, as soon as the marriage was settled, you ignore me when I got angry. What about later? What about after marriage? What would happen after the babies were born? Did it mean that he would not take him seriously anymore?

When Su Ziyang thought about this, how could he not feel grievance? Coupled with the fact that he was pregnant at the moment, he was often irritated because of his big belly. Now that he was stimulated by Ling Zhanyi, his original plan to take a big step forward ended with him retreating several steps immediately. He even shrunk back to his shell and had no intention to come out anymore.

That’s right, Su Ziyang was a tortoise. He would run away when he faced troubles and he was determined not to take any initiative.

Maybe you would say, didn’t Ling Zhanyi explained afterward? That he went to get strawberries and he wasn’t leaving Su Ziyang alone.

But those who were pregnant had a more delicate mind ah, he would think, even if this time he was not tired of coaxing himself, what about next time? Wouldn’t there be a day he would get tired? Wouldn’t there be a day he would get annoyed? So when he had been spoiled by him and could no longer be separated from him, he suddenly withdrew for good, he suddenly felt tired, then what would happen to him? What should he do? There wouldn’t be anyone that he could act spoil to?

Rather than waiting for that day to come, he should try to see clearly as soon as possible and return to rationality while he had not completely fallen.

In this way, he would harden himself in advance, so that the day where he had to leave comes, perhaps his heart not be so in pain?

But he felt unhappy, he felt wronged. Su Ziyang rarely played the cold war with Ling Zhanyi, but he still let Ling Zhanyi sleep on the same bed with him and was willing to let him embrace and kiss him. However, his expression did not change.

Ling Zhanyi was going crazy. He didn’t know what happened to Su Ziyang. Why couldn’t he coax him back this time?

In the middle of the night, Su Ziyang had a dream that Ling Zhanyi had abandoned him. He wanted to see his sons, but Ling Zhanyi cruelly pushed him away and then he woke up suddenly. Su Ziyang was sweating all over. At the same time, the corners of his eyes were moist, and the grievance in his heart was extreme.

What on earth was the reason for getting together with the man beside him?

He didn’t want his money; he had his own earnings. He wasn’t looking at his power, after all, these people basically did not have any freedom. Could that be more important than living a normal and happy life? Thus, he didn’t care about his power. Was it to give his children a complete home? Then he could wait until the babies were born to find a woman to form a complete family with him, which was a much healthier combination than that of a two fathers and babies combination.

The one he wanted was Ling Zhanyi.

Ling Zhanyi was good to himself, doted on himself and complied with him about everything. This feeling of being cared for and loved was the beauty he pursued in his life.

In the first place, why did he think that someone would be kind to him? In fact, he was dreaming, right? If he were to wake up from this dream, he would only feel more lonely. He might be better off not possess this beautiful thing in the first place at all…

Su Ziyang sobbed and he suddenly felt that keeping the children in his stomach was a mistake. Without these two children, would he have nothing to do with Ling Zhanyi? So now, he wouldn’t have to suffer from feeling that he would lose something and cried like a woman because he was afraid?

Su Ziyang, cheer up a little. What is this? If worst comes to worst, he could take his children by himself and leave. Why are you so useless, you are even crying. Is crying once not enough? Why are you crying again?

Ling Zhanyi suddenly woke up in alarm when he heard the low sobbing on his side. At first, he thought he was hallucinating until he realized that Su Ziyang was indeed crying. His sleepiness completely disappeared. He got up in a hurry and switched on the lamp beside the bedside cabinet before going to Su Ziyang’s side. He anxiously asked, “Ziyang? What happened? Are you not feeling well?”

When Ling Zhanyi moved, Su Ziyang realized that he had woken up, so he forced himself to stop crying and choked out, “No.”

“No? Then why are you crying? Are you still angry with me about what happened before?” Ling Zhanyi turned Su Ziyang’s face to himself. “Tell me honestly, what are you still angry about? Is there anything between us that cannot be explained? Why are you crying secretly? What are you really thinking about?”

Su Ziyang’s gaze flitted across Ling Zhanyi’s handsome face and he hesitated slightly, but he quickly turned away his eyes again. “Nothing. It’s my own problem. It’s none of your business.”

“Su Ziyang!” Ever since they got into contact with each other, this was Ling Zhanyi first time using this sort of attitude to call Su Ziyang’s name. He even called out his full name. He grasped his head somewhat flustered and exasperated. “If you have any complaints about me, you can say it out loud. Why do you always keep them in your heart? If you don’t tell me, how will I know what I did wrong? If it is about the two strawberries, I’ve already apologized to you and you had also accepted my apology. So, what do you exactly want now? Do you want me to take out my heart and show it to you before you would be satisfied?”

Su Ziyang stared at him. Look, he was roaring at him already…

Ling Zhanyi also realized that he was too agitated just now. He softened his voice and continued to enlighten him: “Ziyang, a cold war is the biggest killer between husband and wife. I hope you don’t always punish me in this way, okay? Just like before, if you are angry with, beat me, scold me, tell me everything, okay?”

“… It’s not your problem. It’s my own problem. I think I haven’t dealt with my heart yet. Ling Zhanyi, I want to be alone.” Su Ziyang spoke quietly after a long time.

Ling Zhanyi took a deep breath and barely suppressed the surging mood in his chest. At the moment, he could not guess exactly what bull horn this little ancestor had drilled himself into. He simply didn’t chase for more questions. Now his own mood was somewhat out of control, if he went on asking him, he’s afraid that there would be more slip-up.

It’s better for them to calm down first.

“All right, you sleep here. I’ll go to the guest room next door to sleep.” Ling Zhanyi got out of bed, “But don’t think about it anymore. Have a good sleep first. If you have anything, we can talk about it tomorrow morning, okay?”

Su Ziyang gave a gentle “En.” and closed his eyes.

Ling Zhanyi bent over to cover him with the blanket. At the same time, he padded the cushion on Su Ziyang’s abdomen. Then he leaned over and kissed Su Ziyang’s eyebrow out of habit. He whispered, “Goodnight, baby.”

I hope you can understand as soon as possible. Don’t torture me any more…

Ling Zhanyi didn’t speak out the latter sentence. He was afraid that Su Ziyang would let his thought ran even more. He asked, “Call me if you have anything. I’ll keep my door open so I can hear you.”

“En.” Su Ziyang continued to answer, Ling Zhanyi switched off the bedside lamp and went out.

Lying on the bed in the guest room, Ling Zhanyi still could not be calm even after a long time. He was the most wronged person in the world! Everything was going well, why did this sort of thing happen! He didn’t know which bull’s horn had this little thing drilled himself into, he was actually having a cold war with him!

His heart was going to be tormented to death by him!

He turned and tossed in bed without being able to fall asleep, so Ling Zhanyi simply sat up. He felt for his phone and dialed Gu Feng’s number through the contact. He didn’t care that it was already two o’clock in the morning…

He had to talk to someone, or else he would go crazy!

Chapter 74 | Chapter 76

14 thoughts on “IDWYTBR – 75

  1. Wew.
    That’s a lot to take.
    Ah, I can suddenly remember those dark times when I fall into depression.
    It feels just like this.
    So many things happening, like a storm inside the head.
    This author is good.
    He/she made them go through all of the process of being pregnant, instead of going off to next stage.
    Really, really thoughtful.

    Thank you for the update ❤️
    It’s a heavy chapter, but somehow I feel glad after reading it.
    It’s relatable and endearing.

  2. Honestly Su Ziyang is extremely in the wrong here. With an attitude like that it’s no surprise he never had a successful relationship before and without the plot keeping Ling Zhanyi to his side I would expect him to be broken up with! Ling Zhanyi getting annoyed with him is only to be expected. Is it so wrong to ask your partner to act like an adult and not a five year old pouting in a corner?

    Losing your mind over two strawberries and refusing to talk about it is completely stupid. Insecurities are one thing and pregnancy makes you more fragile but making the other person’s life miserable over your own issues and not being willing to say anything? If you’re not willing to talk about your problems, you’re the problem. If he keeps being like this I’ll start rooting for Ling Zhanyi to move on and find someone who actually is willing to be in a relationship with him, rather than this crazy hot-and-cold person. For a protagonist, he’s getting further and further from sympathetic.

    1. Su Ziyang clarified that it wasn’t just about the strawberry, it was the trigger but Su Ziyang eventually started over thinking things. He’s insecure and scared to know what would happen to him when he completely let Ling Zhanyi in his heart. It’s true when he said it’s his own problem because so far Ling Zhanyi has been really good to him and then Ziyang ended up overthinking.

      I see your point and I agree. I went through what Ziyang is going through. I find it hard to let people in so I push them away and I end up hurting them even more. As you said, I let the person go because it would never work out if there’s such insecurities not being washed away.

      I’m looking forward to what’s going to happen after this cold war.

    2. Please don’t forget that he was once neglected by Ling Zhanyi and got himself killed.
      Su Ziyang’s attitude is annoying, I do agree.
      He’s been testing Ling Zhanyi’s feelings over and over again, makes us irritated.
      But considering his background, I can understand his reasons.

      No matter what, he has no one to care for him during his first pregnancy.

      The current Ling Zhanyi does show his care and love for Su Ziyang, but that doesn’t mean the suspicion and insecurity will go away.
      True, he has to work for it, but he’s also hormonal because of his pregnancy.
      Ever heard of baby blue?
      So, I think it’s understandable.

      I’m not saying I agree with Su Ziyang’s attitude, but somehow I can relate with him.
      Ling Zhanyi has caused him death on his first life.
      He shouldn’t be so easy forgiven.
      He shouldn’t be so easy to trust.

      The reason why I keep reading this novel is because of how realistic Ziyang’s heart is.
      That’s how fragile we are as a human.

      On the other hand, I do enjoy seeing Ling Zhanyi efforts to redeem his not-done-yet-in-this-lifetime mistake.
      Makes me feel happy and touched.
      Not everyone has that big of a heart, I know.
      That’s why I am looking forward to what will happen next.
      I’m sure Ziyang will slowly change his mind throughout the time and they will happy together.
      I am hopeful.

      1. I definitely get why Su Ziyang is having issues, but my main point is that he’s running away instead of actually trying to fix anything! Refusing to communicate and running and hiding isn’t going to make anything better, and it’s the exact reason why things went wrong in the last life, too. Su Ziyang doesn’t have to just forgive him immediately, but since he’s decided to give him another chance he should actually make an attempt in the relationship- which means communicating and actually trying to work on what issues there are!

      2. Eh, but he didn’t run away in the first life?
        They were supposed to be a one night stand, that’s why he didn’t get in touch with Zhanyi again.
        He only contact him after getting pregnant.
        He wasn’t running away.

        I do agree with you that he should be communicating with Zhanyi for the current situation.
        But yeah, hormones and stuff.
        Pregnant people are different.
        They can be extremely sensitive, highly demanding and TOTALLY UNREASONABLE.
        Trust me, I’ve been with one.
        Not that I hate her, but she can get annoying sometimes.
        I think that’s why I can relate with Ziyang?

        Okay, that’s enough rambling.
        Let’s just agree to disagree so we can move forward.

  3. I don’t know what to feel about this chapter. I get the whole dieing in the past life and am sorry for Su Ziyang. I truly believe especially in these kind of novels that you can not blame or hate a person for what they did not even do in this life. The most amazing things about people is the ability to change. Lets ask why did Ling Zhanyi wanted him to have an abortion in the first life, was he tricked by that stupid girl before or someone else, got supper disappointed that the child was not his, he told his parents he was gay and they got supper mad? In other novels I have read, you test the person so see if they would go bad, then you take them out if they do. Ling Zhanyi is doing so well, its such a shame that one person insecurities is affecting another person. I hope this sort out soon and am sorry but I want Su Ziyang to be the first, he has taken the high road since his rebirth. Lets not forget he also agreed to have the abortion.

  4. I really feel like our man, Ling Zhanyi has been treated unfairly. I understand the fact that Su Ziyang cannot forget the past life and even want to run away. Obviously cause well he died while aborting. But Ling Zhanyi really should not be balmed so badly and treated so unfairly.
    In the first few chapters, Su Ziyang also agreed for the abortion. It was not forced and he was also willing. Nobody knew that abortion will result to Ziyang’s death and it was an accident. But seriously seeing Ziyang act like a complete victim and always placing blame on Zhanyi to the point of making Zhanyi so miserable, I just feel like I had enough and had to relief my bottled up emotions.
    At the beginning, I was like okay the story is not so reasonable. Well even rebirth is far from logic so I could bear it. But later it totally felt so wrong. I don’t know if the author is trying to make Zhanyi more miserable or trying to lengthen the story but seriously this was too much. They both willing entered into one night stand thing. Later, Ziyang became pregnant, unbelievable. There was no time for Zhanyi to adapt and what was the choices given by Ziyang?? Give me money to raise the child or abortion, your call. Even if the author explained to readers that the Ziyang was innocent and wanted to do as other party said and his financial situation but did he explain to Zhanyi? The answer is a big “NO”. He just gave him two choices. Being a rich person, Zhanyi has seen and may be even faced people who demanded money and all for being pregnant. Author also showed us Zhanyi’s perspective of such cases and I believe he was also right in his own way. Who can believe that the one night partner they had was actually pregnant with his child? Obviously, he will first think ‘really?’ Or even think ‘they were being lied and was a scheme to extort money’. Furthermore, they didn’t know each other and of course there will be no trust thus misunderstandings.
    We can clearly see that no body has big fault. They both were wrong. They didn’t have enough communication. We can’t push blame to Zhanyi only. Please remember this, nobody new that abortion would result in dead and Ziyang was willing to abort the child. Just because he died doesn’t mean he can push all the blame on Zhayi. And seriously pregnancy mood fluctuations doesn’t mean you can hurt your partner. Even Zhanyi told Ziyang to not bottle up and confess, he would behave so unreasonably and always take Zhanyi’s love and care for granted. Zhanyi was even willing to change his behavior for Ziyang. But no you just need to sulk and be coaxed repeatedly. Tbh, if it was me I would have left Ziyang and never returned. There is a limit to people’s endurance. I just feel so bad for Zhanyi. Author you cannot only favor Ziyang.
    But I can also understand the feeling of wanting to run away because of death. But please don’t keep pushing Zhanyi away and always blame him.

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